I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
