you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
