He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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