I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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