Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
