school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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