Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
