Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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