im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
