I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
