We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
