Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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