TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
