kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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