I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we have pet lesbian snakes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
