so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
