Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
