Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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