I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
