would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
