erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
