My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Boobs are out for the taking
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
