Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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