tell your sister to shave her snatch
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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