one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
