I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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