Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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