i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
