Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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