You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
