I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I skipped work to stalk him.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
