I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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