ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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