her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
