It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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