i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
