Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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