bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
