You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
