Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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