He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Vodka?
Forever.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
