Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
