two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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