in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
