your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
