Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
