the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
