And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
