Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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