How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
